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 by:
Shelle
Rose Charvet
The dictionary defines a faux pas, as a false step (which is
the literal translation from French) or a breach of etiquette. A blunder is
a stupid mistake, to move awkwardly or stumble or to utter stupidly or confusedly.
Bloopers are defined as a clumsy mistake, especially one made in public.
Have you ever had a day like that? How do you get your foot
out of your mouth?
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Recently Harvard University President Lawrence Summers created
a crisis by suggesting that women do not have the same natural ability in math
and science as men. He then had to apologize, back-peddle and
have his advisors step in to help.
Many people think that it's game over once they have made a
blunder. They also believe that "you never get a second chance to make
a first impression." But it's not over until YOU decide it is! You get
many chances to make a second, third, fourth and fifth impression.
There are ways to handle public and private perturbations.
Simple Strategies for Benign Bloopers
1. Say "That was a ridiculous thing to say. I
take it back." People find it so much easier to forgive someone
who doesn't appear to believe that he or she is perfect.
2. Offer a plausible explanation: "My
evil twin suddenly made an appearance just then. It's okay now - he's/she's
gone." (I apologize to my twin brother Michael.)
3. Create a diversion: "That reminds
me -- the other day when I was answering my email...." and then run away.
It's clear that these strategies are only effective where you have a decent
relationship with the people involved and that it wasn't a SERIOUS mistake.
But what if you put your foot so far into your mouth that it
risks interfering with your intestines?
Artful Approaches for Major Mishaps
| 1. |
Here's the BAD NEWS FORMULA developed by Veli-Matti
Toivonen and Tim Murphey. Using the power of AND and BUT, it was designed
to deliver bad news without being a downer, but it fits quite well for
erasing erroneous words.
Here's how it goes:
Bad News
BUT good news
AND good news
AND good news.
Here's what Lawrence Summers could have said to heal the hemorrhage:
" My words were clearly chosen badly BUT they don't represent my
true feelings AND I fully support the women in our institution AND have
created measures to improve their status that I would like to talk to
you about now." |
| 2. |
There are times when you weren't happy with how you
handled a phone or in-person conversation and felt it was too late to
correct. Maybe it isn't too late. You could try the "I've been thinking"
Approach.
Phone up the person when you know they are unlikely to be there and leave
the following message:
" Hello Mario, it's Shelle. Remember the conversation we had about
rubber balloons? Well, I've been thinking. Can you give me a call please?"
Chances are they will be curious enough to call you back to find out what
you were thinking. When you speak to them remind them of the topic and
then give them the fruit of your deliberations. I find that the people
I know really appreciate it when I admit when I might have been wrong
and can make a useful suggestion. |
Bring the Repair Kit
As we become ever more rushed in our work, and in organizing
our harried home lives, our productivity in producing bloopers, blunders and
faux pas increases incredibly.
If you have a Repair Kit in your mental tool bag with some simple strategies
and artful approaches, you will never need to fear foot in mouth disease again.
Other articles you may be interested in:
Surviving
Office Politics
Presenting
Ideas to Skeptical People
Relationship
Networking
Shelle Rose Charvet is the President of Success
Strategies and the author of the international
best-selling book Words
That Change Minds. She is recognized as a world expert on the Language of
Influence.
*The articles published on this site undergo our review process. We found the
information in this article to be very useful and informative. |
