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By: Nostagio Onesti
So its the beginning of the school year, your first day of
class is over, and you just want to sit down and relax for a moment because
you know that the rest of the semester won't be as easy as Day 1. You're alone
in the room. Quiet. You sit, close your eyes, roll your head to massage your
neck.
WHAM!! The door flies open and your new roommate charges
in with his girlfriend (or guy friend- hey you never know) the friend screaming
and bursting in disturbing
laughter as your roommate is silent and has this not-quite-well look in his
eyes, dragging around a dead hamster, chatting about "I can't wait to
do that again...they're gonna get what they deserve, Oh sorry [insert your
name here], I didn't see you there." You muster up the ability to hold
your tongue and you finally exhale, ever so slowly, "its okay." Like
hell it's ok, you think to yourself.
This specific scenario describes what happens when your roommate
is a "Freak", and maybe this all sounds too familiar. But there
are plenty of other things that can go wrong with a new dorm or apartment roommate.
Maybe you're more of the party type and your roommate thinks bible study is
just sooooooo much fun. Maybe your roommate doesn't know the meaning of "too
loud," "maybe later," "lighten up you stiff," or "for
the last time, this is MINE, that is YOURS." Like I said, there are plenty
of things that can go wrong with the unexpected roommate. Maybe you
two just aren't compatible -but don't worry- we here at thecollegeguys.com
know just what to do.
Step one is to relax. This kind of thing is normal.
You'll find hundreds if not thousands of others who are in the same position
as you are. Its one of
those "please don't happen to me" type of things, and when it does,
one is usually unaware of what should be done or how to handle the situation.
If you've been in this situation, you know what I'm talking about. First, you're
angry and get the whole "why me" syndrome, wishing your roomie was
as cool as your friends'. Then you try to avoid the situation as much as possible
but when it gets to be too much you experience moments of extreme awkwardness
with your room-buddy and anyone else s/he's associated with. Worse case scenario
is that it starts to affect your work or study skills, and when that happens,
you KNOW its bad.
Some problems are really common, such as bathroom use and privacy.
The most important things to establish with a new roommate are boundaries.
Your roomie needs to know what are off-limits (e.g. shampoo, bag of chips, your
box of porn) and what the meaning of space is. The ability to compromise is
important in relations among roommates, so you may have to give a little to
get a little. You will also have to be frank with your roomie, being clear about
what's your side of the room and about clearing up scheduling conflicts, for
example. Scheduling conflicts are particularly important because you don't want
to take home a major project when your roommate has penciled in a yoga session
or keg party. Remember, communication is key.
Now, if you are to sort these issues out with your roommate,
its important to do it correctly. You can't just rush up to your mate and demand
that you go over some ground rules...."or else." That won't do (however,
it could be fun). What you need to do is the following:
Be early: don't wait until a status quo has been established... you want
to make sure that early on in your relationship that you and your roommate
are
on the same page.
Be sincere: don't be demanding nor impatient, and try to be understanding
of the poor bastard- otherwise, you could make the whole situation come to
a
head by turning him/her off any compromise whatsoever. Make your roomie
believe that you want to help him/her as much as you do yourself.
Be willing to sacrifice: have in mind
what you can compromise in return for not using your closet or towels, etc.
Now not all roommates are the same, so you may have to think twice about how
to approach yours. However, follow these basic guidelines, and you should
save yourself some headaches later on.
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