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by: Sue
Augustine
In the tender, nurturing atmosphere of the chrysalis, the butterfly
matures into its natural splendor and beauty. So, too, can we flourish when
we discover our own protective covering, one that will shelter us from the myriad
of influences we face daily that can sap our confidence. When we learn to cherish
and esteem ourselves, we will soon experience a personal metamorphosis. Eventually
we'll emerge with exquisite and powerful wings that will carry us above lifes
obstacles.
There are so many variables contributing to our wings. Inner
confidence, including having faith in ourselves and belief in our abilities,
is essential if we are to create the full, rich, rewarding flight we want. In
fact, the one thing that can hold us back more than anything else from the triumphant
life we say we desire is that we don't truly believe we are worthy of it.
When we take a good look at the way women have been conditioned
regarding what it takes to be a worthy person, with unrealistic expectations
and nearly impossible standards, its no wonder our self-confidence suffers.
Add to that some of the messages we've received through the media or society
encouraging us to strive to be the intellectual, prudent, good-looking, sexy,
successful super-mom and it's easy to understand why more and more women are
on a frustrating, never-ending quest for self-improvement. It seems that to
be a "happy, prosperous" woman today one must climb the corporate
ladder during the week, work out at the gym every morning, go for a walk during
the lunch hour, help the kids with science fair projects, keep an immaculate
house, entertain in the evenings, spend weekends making huge kettles of vegetarian
soup and baking multi-grain muffins, model part-time and shingle the roof on
her day off! This is to say nothing of the false images of feminine beauty and
the ideal body myth that continue to nag us. In reality, most of us will never
have the bodies of the super models we compare ourselves with, nor would we
want to pay the price, including anorexia and bulimia, to gain acceptance and
approval.
So many of us have developed the habit of being our own worst
critic, believing that we're not as good as we should be, that we don't measure
up. We undermine our self-confidence by falling into the comparison trap. It's
time we created our own measuring stick. Try redefining success in your own
terms. Run your own race and leave the status quo behind. Focus on your unique
talents. Concentrate on your individual goals and aspirations. And recognize
your limitations as well. If you've been attempting to be in control of everyone
and everything, let yourself off the hook. Although you hold the key to your
happiness and success, you are not fully responsible for the condition of your
world.
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Self-acceptance is an art. You can master it by emotionally
nurturing yourself as you would any friend who was suffering. Encouraging others
seems to be our natural territory. Women are gifted at boosting the
confidence of others yet we reprimand ourselves for being less than
perfect.
To sustain a sense of enduring self-confidence, regularly
nurture yourself. Every day, remind yourself you are a valuable person.
Write your accomplishments in a private victory journal. Treat yourself to a
cup of tea in your very best china, or a massage or a candlelight bubble bath.
Feelings of self-esteem and worthiness ultimately strengthen confidence. Lovingly
caring for yourself empowers you to soar up and over life's barriers.
Other articles you may be interested in:
Adapted from the book, With Wings, There Are No Barriers
1997, by Sue Augustine (Pelican Publishing) Sue Augustine is an internationally-recognized
keynote speaker and a contributing author to the #1 New York Times bestseller,
Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul.
*The articles published on this site undergo our review process.
We found the information in this article to be very useful and informative.
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