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Make Friends and Influence People
by: Stan Mann
Practical Biz Solutions
The business success newsletter for business owners, top executives, and commission
sales people from Stan Mann
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Dear Reader:
Big mistake:
assuming that others communicate the same as you.
Have you ever experienced being able to relate easily and comfortable
with certain people yet other people are difficult to talk to? This article
explains how this happens and how to solve this important problem.
Many an important project has been derailed because of poor
communication. Do not make the BIG mistake of assuming that others communicate
the same as you. All people do not communicate alike. Recognize that about two
thirds of the people with whom you interact have a behavioral style different
from yours. To be effective with these two thirds, you must learn to recognize
and adapt your behavior to theirs -- and your will triple your ability to make
friends and influence people.
You will then have powerful tools for:
1. Gaining Commitment and Cooperation
2. Resolving and Preventing
Conflict
3. Building Effective Teams
4. Providing Awesome Customer Service
5. Gaining Influence
~Stan
Lesson I:
HOW TO BE A GREAT COMMUNICATOR
To be a great communicator you must first:
1. Understand your own communication style.
2. Recognize other's
communication style.
3. Purposely adopt strategies for more effective communication.
To easily understand behavior-observe whether a person is:
1. Introverted or extroverted
2. Task oriented or people oriented
This gives you four communication styles:
1. Extroverted and task oriented
2. Extroverted and people
oriented
3. Introverted and task oriented
4. Introverted and people oriented
To become a great communicator begin by observing yourself
1. Are you more introverted or extroverted. When challenged
by a situation, do you hang back to see what develops and try to figure
out
the best way to handle the situation, or do you immediately step forward to
meet the challenge. Note that neither approach is superior. They both have
their
advantages.
2. Are you task oriented or people oriented-more focused on
getting the job done even at the expense of people, or is your first concern
the reaction of the people involved?
3. Discover into which of the four categories
(described above) you fall.
Understanding this about yourself will start you on your way
to becoming a Great Communicator.
Lesson II:
QUICK METHOD OF DETERMINING YOUR BEHAVIORAL STYLE
Knowing your own communication style is the first step in becoming
a great communicator. It gives you a basis to understand to whom you naturally
communicate well and what you need to do to connect well to people with other
styles.
Take this quick assessment to understand your style. In each
of the four category lists below there are 10 adjectives. Check all those in
each category that would fit your behavior at work.
Read the four categories and select which adjectives come closest
to describing you.
CATEGORY I
 |
___ Adventuresome
___ Competitive
___ Daring
___ Decisive
___ Direct
___ Innovative
___ Persistent
___ Problem solver
___ Results oriented
___ Self-starter |
CATEGORY II
 |
___ Charming
___ Confident
___ Convincing
___ Enthusiastic
___ Inspiring
___ Optimistic
___ Persuasive
___ Popular
___ Sociable
___ Trusting |
CATEGORY III
 |
___ Amiable
___ Friendly
___ Good Listener
___ Patient
___ Relaxed
___ Sincere
___ Stable
___ Steady
___ Team Player
___ Understanding |
CATEGORY IV
 |
___ Accurate
___ Analytical
___ Conscientious
___ Diplomatic
___ Fact-finder
___ High standards
___ Quality Conscious
___ Patient
___ Precise |
HOW TO SCORE
Count the number of selected adjectives in each category. The
category with the highest total is usually the one that best describes your
style. You may have a second category with almost the same score. That would
be your secondary style.
[Please note: the assessment offered you in session II of this
newsletter is a simplified and therefor less accurate assessment than that provided
by longer, validated instruments. For a FREE, more accurate, refined and valid
profile of your communication style, visit
http://www.stanmann.com/free-assessment.html
Lesson III
UNDERSTANDING YOUR PARTICULAR STYLE
After having completed the check list from last Lesson's letter,
you have determined your behavior falls into CATEGORY 1, 2, 3 or 4.
IF YOUR BEHAVIOR IS LIKE CATEGORY 1.
Category 1 Measures your Dominance; how you meet challenges.
We will now refer to this as CATEGORY D [for Dominance.]
YOUR STRENGTHS ARE
- Direct, results oriented
- Interested in getting the job done
- Enjoys challenges
- Like novelty and a fast paced environment
- A quick thinker
- A big picture person
- Have a lot of drive
- A natural leader
- Lets others know where you stand
- Takes charge
If your behavior is primarily described in category D, you
are most likely a direct, results oriented person who enjoys challenges. An
extrovert, you are interested in getting the job done. You like novelty and
a fast paced environment. You want bottom line answers uncluttered by details.
These strengths make you valuable to an organization because you cause action,
get things done, even if it involves taking risks. You have a lot of drive and
can make a good leader
Shortcomings of CATEGORY D
However, you probably lack patience and cut people off with
your direct bottom line approach. Your overriding concern with results tends
to discount the people involved. You may be a poor listener and miss valuable
insights from others. Under stress you may become insensitive.
HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EFFECTIVENESS.
You can improve your effectiveness by understanding that you
need people. Learn patience and be less irritated when deadlines are missed.
It would help you to be more tactful and concerned for the feelings and attitudes
of others. People will be more cooperative when you explain your reasons for
your conclusions. Endorse others for their contributions. Remember they like
it as much as you. Genuine endorsement is a powerful motivator.
FLEXING YOUR STYLE TO INCREASE YOUR EFFECTIVENESS
People more like yourself will respond well to your direct,
fast paced, decisive approach. You don't have to flex your style with these
people.
However, you will do well to modify your approach to people
who behave more like described in the other three categories. Learn the three
styles of other people and flex your style accordingly. Future newsletters will
give you specific keys for adapting communication to all four categories.
THIS ARTICLE COVERED:
- Biggest mistake when trying to communicate with others.
- Three things you
must do to become a powerful communicator.
- How to quickly identify the four
basic communication styles.
- Quick method of determining your behavioral
style
- Understanding Category I [Dominate] style
- Category I strong points
- Compensating for Category I limitations.
FUTURE ARTICLES:
We will describe CATEGORY 2,3 AND 4 behaviors.
- Their strengths and possible weaknesses
- Tips for improving effectiveness
- How to flex your style to win others to
your view
Other articles you may find interesting:
Bounce
Back From Job Loss
Fear
of Failure? Fear of Success? What's Holding You Back?
How
to Recover From Bloopers, Blunders and Faux Pas

Stan Mann, C.P.C. supports business owners, top executives
and commission salespeople to substantially grow their business and have a balanced
life. He is a Certified Professional Coach. For additional articles and resources please visit visit http://www.stanmann.com/free-assessment.html

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